They were a little trashy, to be sure. Darren was your basic white trash guy. He was handsome, actually, but he had long sideburns that somehow weren’t hip, and the perpetual ball cap and free t-shirt attire sat him squarely in the “You Might Be A Redneck If” camp. Tara was also very good looking, and shared her husband’s trashier qualities. She was probably 5’7” with wavy blonde hair and a round, pretty face. She probably would have weighed about 115 pounds, except that she was also 7 months pregnant when they moved in. Michelle and I joked that pregnancy made anyone look trashy. It was almost a month before I met them. Darren was outside raking late spring debris off the lawn when I got home from work. We made introductions of ourselves, and our absent spouses. He was likable enough, but I wasn’t terribly impressed. Nevertheless, I played the good neighbor and welcomed them to the community. It was after the birth of the baby before I had a chance to chat with Tara. Olivia was born. ”Michael suddenly felt daunted as he heard the words, even though they were spoken softly. Sliding off the stool he nervously made his way to where the tall man, in a black polo shirt and grey trousers both still with damp patches, stood by the desk. His grey hair also looked wet and needed a proper comb as it stood up in all directions. “I guess Michael you are not one of life’s DIY men. For the last four weeks I have tried patiently to show how to do things, yet most times you have failed to grasp what I have said. Even when I showed you it still was not right.”Michael felt a flush in his cheeks as he thought here it comes, the thanks but no thanks speech.“When I was a teacher, all those years ago that I care not to remember exactly how many, we had a way with dealing with boys who didn’t listen and pay attention in class. I made them come out to my desk and bend over so that they could get a good slippering. That usually had the effect of focusing their mind, if not, then they.
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